On Being Different

The following is a post I made last year on a different blog.

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If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. ~Johann von Goethe

On the Feast of the Guardian Angels, I sent the above quote to my friends through my chikka messenger, as I usually do each weekday morning. I never thought it would define the WHOLE of my day—or I guess—or should know that it was all orchestrated by the Grand Maestro after all.

Later, I spent the afternoon listening to Dr. Leticia Cecilia Peñano-Ho discussing the distress differently-abled children go through if they are not diagnosed, misdiagnosed or mismanaged. She confessed that she herself have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and was branded as naughty, punished for her behavior by being in detention many times.

I believe that because of what she went through, this motivated her to take up the cause for children with disabilities, more particularly, learning disabilities. Not only that, because she herself is gifted. This also led her to take up the cause of gifted children and eventually is now president and chairperson of the Philippine Association for the Gifted.

The forum ended early so I had enough time to go to confession and attend mass at a nearby shrine. As I participated, I knew that God was waiting for my response as He has already initiated his pursuit (again!) of me. Hesitantly, I told Him that at this very moment, I surrender everything to You. My eyes welled-up with tears and a feeling of unspeakable warmth flooded my soul. I knew in my heart God honored my word and that He was pleased. I was simply hoping I will do what I expressed. Knowing fully the frailty of my heart, it will not take much before I break that promise.

I went to our regional prayer meeting shortly thereafter. Since I have experienced God before going there, I was unusually fired-up during worship. The topic for the meeting, which I did not at all expect, again talked about “being different” and showed that video of a deaf girl enthralling an audience through her skillful and soulful rendition of Pachelbel’s Canon in D despite all the odds including being despised and rejected by her contemporaries. It went to a point where her mentor, another deaf musician who sells his skills on the streets, pointed out bluntly, “Why do you want to be like others?” in the reply to the girls question, “Why am I different?” The whole video is actually an advertisement of a branded shampoo that dares one to shine.

Our national director then went on to expound on being different taking the example of the Good Samaritan. Unless, one is different, one cannot shine. What made the Samaritan shine? He did things differently. Three things were suggested: 1) loving beyond what is expected of us 2) giving what is rightfully ours and 3) inviting people to do the same. I, who already see the hand of God in all this, was astonished—and gratefully so.

During most of my childhood, I felt the pangs of being left out or not being paid attention to, rejected and despised that I almost always see myself as different. And now with a certain struggle, I know I am having a difficulty different from anybody else—a different handicap of sorts. A void that is not that perceptible to others—but a void nonetheless that makes me think, act, behave and react differently. It made me different.

It is a void that is actually a cross for me—a cross that I was hoping to avoid or run away from. But in the same way that the such cross—though different in form—enabled a doctor to attend to and understand her clients with ADD and ADHD and show them a way for them to live better lives… God also has a purpose in making me carry this cross. He shows me that quite glaringly. He has a purpose for my being different. He has a purpose for me.

I simply had to accept being different—and not to resist but to yield and surrender to be different.

KIDS WHO ARE DIFFERENT

by Digby Wolfe, 1982

Here’s to the kids who are different.

Kids who don’t always get A’s,

Kids who have ears

Twice the size of their peers,

And noses that go on for days,

Here’s to the kids who are different,

Kids they call crazy or dumb,

Kids who don’t fit,

With the guts and the grit

To dance to a different drum,

Here’s to the kids who are different,

Kids with a mischievous streak,

For when they have grown,

As history has shown,

It’s their difference that makes them unique.

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